just showing some self love tonight because it is probably one of the rare saturday nights at home and resting. 

Never a person good with words, but I feel that I should make a mental note to try and blog once in a while to keep my sanity in check. 

Am I truly happy? 

It feels like I'm marching towards my impending doom clouded by my very own rainbows and sunshine. The past half a year has been a huge struggle. 

I was constantly caught in between getting what you want and if it's yours, it's yours. 

From aggressive to passive aggressive. 

Why do I feel like this do me more harm than good?

I'm envious of people who just seem so happy in their relationships or at least being able to smile together with their loved ones. But why do I feel like this. I don't think I am suppose to be feeling like this but I can't help it. 

I have constantly been trying to make up excuses for myself for him. But why does everything right now feels so forced and unreal. It's like we are going against mother nature to make something happen. 

Am I a fool? 

Or is it just me being delusional that we will work out...

Still hoping for that one day that I can actually feel the warmth radiating from his smile 

when he sees me. 

just showing some self love tonight because it is probably one of the rare saturday nights at home and resting. 

Never a person good with words, but I feel that I should make a mental note to try and blog once in a while to keep my sanity in check. 

Am I truly happy? 

It feels like I'm marching towards my impending doom clouded by my very own rainbows and sunshine. The past half a year has been a huge struggle. 

I was constantly caught in between getting what you want and if it's yours, it's yours. 

From aggressive to passive aggressive. 

Why do I feel like this do me more harm than good?

I'm envious of people who just seem so happy in their relationships or at least being able to smile together with their loved ones. But why do I feel like this. I don't think I am suppose to be feeling like this but I can't help it. 

I have constantly been trying to make up excuses for myself for him. But why does everything right now feels so forced and unreal. It's like we are going against mother nature to make something happen. 

Am I a fool? 

Or is it just me being delusional that we will work out...

Still hoping for that one day that I can actually feel the warmth radiating from his smile 

when he sees me.